Industry News
Digital Boobs – Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light annouced, not for retail
Mar 4th
Crystal Dynamics are back with a new Tomb Raider game, only it's not actually a Tomb Raider game... 'Guardian of Light' might just signify the abolishment of the Tomb Raider name, which is a strange move to make following the developers attempts to re-introduce the raiding of tombs to the series once again.
Whether it represents a simply re-branding by the new owners (Squeenix) to focus more on the core character or a fork for the series into different (more casual?) territory -similar to the Sonic the Hedgehog Storybook series - is as-yet unknown.
Square Enix Europe have announced that the latest boob adventure-em-up featuring everyone's favourite generously proportioned grave digger is coming to 'undisclosed formats' sometime this year via the medium of the internet!
Yes, that's right, no retail release is planned for Ms. Croft's latest output, although whether that means we're in for an episodic release is as of yet unknown.
Under Siege – IW raided by Activision, heads rolling
Mar 2nd
Infinity Ward, the gurus behind the good (or 'sorta alright', depending who you ask) parts of the Call of Duty series, have been raided by their slave paymasters at Activision.
Reports state that security guards were posted at the entrance to the offices, el-presidente's for life Zampella & West have been sacked for 'breaches of contract & insubordination' and a giant mechanical gorilla unleashed by the former bosses is current terrorising down-town Encino. Of course, the latter may not be true, as reports from the scene are sketchy at best!
Whether this is related to either the handling of Modern Warfare 2's various issues (cheating/hacking, profiteering, controversy, treading on the PC gamers with a facist jackboot and much more) or the possible move of the Call of Duty brand to other divisions of Activision is currently unknown.
In other news, Ubisoft are scum.
Jan 27th
Back in the mists of time (or 2006, whichever happened first, I forget), Ubisoft used this anti-piracy aberration called Starforce (or however it's spelt).
It pissed off everyone under the sun and, some people say, nearly caused Ubisoft to go bankrupt (after all, who's going to buy a game that might break your PC, burn the cat AND eat your first born, all during the install procedure?).
The system was finally binned and, in a startling show of goodwill, Ubi started releasing games with either simple disc-checks or no protection what-so-ever.
Roll on January 2010 and history looks to be repeating itself.
MP creates Gamer’s Voice pressure group #MW2
Nov 10th
Because jumping on the #MW2 (natch) bandwagon isn't shameless enough these days, Tom Watson (one of the few pro-gaming MPs in British Parliment) has set up a Facebook Group to coincide with todays release of the much-anticipated shooter.
Designed to 'give gamers a voice' (although 'how' is still a mystery), the group already has over 6500 irate and vocal members, ready to mobilise in an instant against the Vaz-i regime in a flurry of angry internet hate and mass hysteria.
Still, at least they don't have a Twitter page... Oh, wait!
Quite whether this will involve multiple kiddies calling each other faggots in between mowing down civilians in russian airports is currently unknown.
In related #MW2 news, get to one of the nations many supermarkets for your Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2 purchasing needs and pay as little as possible. Word has it Sainsburys & Morissons are the best bets!
Now with realistic plastic underwear! – Modern Warfare 2 Special Edition #47
Sep 18th
Obviously not content with HMV snapping the UK rights to the mega-expensive Sex-pest Edition of Modern Warfare 2, GAME have lept in there to attempt to re-assert themselves as numero-uno in the high-street Modern Warfare 2 Special Edition war.
Called the Veteran package, it comes with the same 'Hardened Edition' as the Prestige Edition (meaning alongside the unique content, you get the game (*shock*), a Steelbook game case, art book and Call of Duty on XBLA/PSN), only instead of the bargain-basement night vision goggles & stand you get a doll...
Project Needlemouse or ‘Thank F*ck SEGA are listening’
Sep 9th
It's hard to believe it's taken SEGA this long to realise that Sonic just DOESN'T WORK IN THREE DIMENSIONS.
Seriously, even when you funnel the path by using linear levels and on-rails portions (like Sonic Heroes and Sonic and the Black Knight tried), the obscene speeds, 3 dimensions of movement and the persistently inadequate camera present the average gamer with a challenge akin to driving a Formula One car whilst drunk.
Following a brief light at the end of the tunnel with the 2D sections in the otherwise abominable Werehog disaster, SEGA have decided that the next Sonic game, currently under development with the codename 'Project Needlemouse' (Mr. Needlemouse being Sonic's suitably Japanese codename when the original '91 classic was under development), will be a 2D effort with added HD niceties, which is all we really know at this point.
Shiny teaser after the cut...
PAX 2009 Trailers
Sep 9th
Never before has a post title so essentially decided the tags I attach too it!
PAX 2009 has just finished and, swine-flu not-withstanding, it was a success.
There's a metric ass-load of trailers after the cut, some of which require you to prove that you were born on January 1st, 1900... You have been forewarned!
Less a Blizzard, more an Avalanche! – BlizzCon Deets
Aug 22nd
Blizzard don't do things by half, even though their penny-pushing paymasters at that hideous Activision Vivendi conglomerate would rather the obscene amounts of money just keep coming in rather than being spent on frivolous events.
Still, BlizzCon is running and it's giving us loads of Blizzard-related information.
This post will be updated as more crucial information comes to bear.
PS3 Slim announced – Are we surprised..?
Aug 18th
Come on, is anyone surprised with Sony at this point? They haven't managed to keep a single release under wraps lately...
Regardless, the recent mind-thinks about PS3 stock thinning have proved true, as Sony have just made the announcement at GamesCom that the long awaited cut in both price and girth for Sony's long game is due early September...
**UPDATE**
Joystiq were presented with a 'New PS3' and have a deboxening and size comparison gallery.
Smile = Wiped: GRIN closes
Aug 13th
Following the closure of their satellite studios earlier in the month and various rumours regarding their status, Bo & Ulf Andersson (aka. The Brothers GRIN) have announced that the doors at the Swedish studio are closed for good.
The main reason cited is various publishers withholding cash, possibly due the mediocre sales and reception of Bionic Commando (the long-awaited sequel of the infamous Capcom property), Wanted: Weapons of Fate & Terminator: Salvation (both movie licensed properties heavily slated for linearity, duff gameplay and barely 10 hours of gameplay between them.
For this writer, however, GRIN will always be remembered for Ballistics, the hyper-speed racing game that appeared on PC and then suddenly turned up in arcades, much too my surprise when I found one in Croydon!
The letter can be seen on their website here, but since you don't want too leave us, it's after the cut too.
