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HasAnyoneSeenMyPipe

What pisses you off?

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I know what you mean, stuck with Samsung Apps.

We've had a Samsung for a couple of years and I use the Smart Hub for iPlayer or TED only, just because the response time is so much better than through Virgin Media's box.

 

BR
JN

 

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On 13/03/2017 at 0:51 PM, mus422 said:

Lying politicians i.e. another Scottish independence referendum - so much for once in a generation.

 

After the Brexit thing is concluded I think it's fair enough - the sheer magnitude of the changes to the state of the union merit another referendum.

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Caught a mouse last night in humane trap, took it a couple of mile away in the car and set it free. Got up this morning and there's another one sitting in the trap, great I'll free him on my way to work. Had breakfast went to pick the trap up and he's ate all the bait and somehow buggered off - cue hysterical wife and daughters :o

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'another one'

When you catch the 'next' one, put a dab of paint on its back.

Just saying.... ;)

 

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Not being informed that my pay at work was going down by approx £100 because a higher up decided to stop a payment that is required as part of my job. 

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Is it in your contract that you get paid for it? If so then they can't stop it.

Employers think they can get away with murder, one of my mates has just been 'let go' from work because he has an 'attitude' with customers (which he doesn't, he's from Manchester so always sounds like that). They said they have had complaint's against him too.

He's not had any sort of meetings or written/verbal warnings and he's not on 3 month probation or anything like.that. Sounds really illegal when they have done, so he's seeking legal advice now.

Also happened to my mum, but that was illegal what the employer did so she's looking at a few grand back which is a nice bonus for her :) The guy is a major prick anyway so he deserves it!

Got to fight the power brothers and sisters! 

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The engine on my car was overheating so I took it to a garage for some TLC. Two weeks later and they're STILL waiting for a part that's on backorder with Hyundai. Not having a car is bloody irritating, particularly on a bank holiday. Worse still is the financial hammer blow that's lingering over me until it's done :(

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1 hour ago, djmagnifique said:

Got Sky Movies free for a month on Virgin Media

"Hmm, maybe he posted in the wrong thread."

1 hour ago, djmagnifique said:

saw Fantastic 4 and Rise of the Siver Surfer listed

"Okay..."

 

1 hour ago, djmagnifique said:

Fantastic 4 is the 2015 version.

"Ah. Yep. Right thread!"

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1 hour ago, Barry said:

Sat working out how much is left to pay off before the wedding in August. Realised we'd missed a very important thing off our list - Wedding Rings.

Although ... the MOST important thing is the honeymoon. ;)

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I've been put in charge of a new IT system at work. The guy who devised it gave me a week's "training" on the software (i.e. the briefest of overviews) before leaving for a three month stint in London. Trouble is it relies heavily on Excel, a program with which I've had extremely minimal practical experience since leaving school. Now I'm expected, with my limited knowledge, to do work that's meant for three people by myself every day on top of trying to train two colleagues who'll eventually share the workload. If I don't finish the daily workload, nobody in the courts system gets their expenses paid which is obviously quite a burden.

This all stems from being seen as "the computer guy". FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

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I keep getting asked about Excel too, and have decided to maintain my ignorance so I won't be tempted to help out, thus bidding farewell to entire half days while I frantically google the issue and seethe about why it is that what's on the screen often bears no relation to what prints. If I were you I'd tell your bosses that you can do one or the other, not both, and prioritise what you were hired for in the first place.

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19 hours ago, gavpowell said:

If I were you I'd tell your bosses that you can do one or the other, not both, and prioritise what you were hired for in the first place.

Heh, what I was originally hired for was offshored a few months ago. I'd give anything to have that simplicity back, even if it did get a bit dull sometimes. I made a bit of progress today insofar as I requested that the "trainer" guy's access key be passed to somebody else, the idea being that I can delegate a bit of the grunt work to them. That'll free up more time to train another guy who, bizarrely, is fully proficient at Excel. Why the hell our roles weren't reversed I'll never know!

19 hours ago, gavpowell said:

I keep getting asked about Excel too, and have decided to maintain my ignorance so I won't be tempted to help out, thus bidding farewell to entire half days while I frantically google the issue and seethe about why it is that what's on the screen often bears no relation to what prints.

Excel is one of those programs that I'd really love to get to grips with because it'd be incredibly useful in my line of work. However, the user experience is so bad that it's walled off to all but those who've already jumped through a multitude of hoops to understand it. I bought the "For Dummies" book a while back in the hopes of getting to grips with VLOOKUP, the holy grail of formulae in my office, but didn't have a test environment in which to practice properly. Now I've got the opportunity to take a stab at it with actual data but no time to learn properly i.e. I'm just typing the formula in as instructed without understanding what does what.

Printing, funnily enough, is one of the things that inadvertently made certain colleagues think I was an Excel genius. I was called over by a senior staff member who needed to print a selection but couldn't manage it. Having a basic grasp of how most software works, I figured I'd give it a go and managed to find the right option. That same senior staff member was the one who recommended me for this project. Y'know, because I figured out how to print something once.

Life is strange.

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1 hour ago, Halrick said:

I figured I'd give it a go and managed to find the right option. That same senior staff member was the one who recommended me for this project. Y'know, because I figured out how to print something once.

Life is strange.

I'll see your story(and your excellent but very dangerous flow chart - I've got a computer shop to run here!) and raise you a customer who repeatedly evangelises to people about my abilities, because she came in once with an Acer laptop that kept losing the screws out the bottom. PCWorld told her they'd have to send it away, I rummaged on my desk for some screws and screwed them into her laptop. I've done literally nothing else for her!

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It's the mystique around Excel that's kept me in work for so many years!

Honestly though, most of it is relatively straightforward.

The secret, if there is one, is that Excel is a tool. It doesn't do anything of its own accord. One needs to have a clear idea of the task in hand.

it's programmable, mute, software.

Often, people think that technology will fix problems. It doesn't.

I often think of software as modelling reality - if the business process/thinking is flawed, then the software will just replicate the issues, not make them better.

Example: I once had an accounts assistant ask for some Excel training. They wanted to know how to use Excel to calculate VAT.

i start with explaining the steps to create the basic formula. I ask her: ”How do we calculate VAT without a computer or a calculator? What is the mathematical equation behind it? We're going to translate that calculation into something that Excel can understand".

Blank stare. No idea.

Of course, the mystery that shrouds Excel doesn't help. VLookup is a classic case. It's very powerful and useful, but essentially very, very simple:

"Look at the contents of a specific cell (X). Then, look through all the values in the first column of a range of data (Y) until you find a match for the contents in the specific cell. When you find a match, count to the right  the specified number of columns(Z) and display whatever is in that cell. Only look for exact matches (FALSE)".

=VLookup(X,Y,Z,FALSE)

X = WHAT am I looking for?

Y = WHERE do I search? (I can only search in the first column of a range or table of data, and I need a range to be at least 2 columns wide)

Z = WHAT do I display when I find X? (I can only count the number of columns across from where I find X, So if I find X in column A, and I want to display the contents of the cell in column c, Z would be 3.)

FALSE = find an exact match for X in Y (most vlookups, in my experience, are exact match lookups, but VLookup can look up values in a range).

=VLookup(A2,Data!A:C,3,FALSE) - Looks for an exact match of the value in cell A2 on the current sheet. Searches Column A on the sheet called Data. When it finds an exact match, displays the contents of the cell in column C, same row as where the match was found.

Simples!

I always think of it, and describe it to learners, as like 'Battleships'.

 

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