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TF2 Sniper vs. Spy Update Feed
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TF2 Sniper vs. Spy Update Feed

by Andrew BryantMay 21, 2009


As with the previous updates, the Sniper Update for Team Fortress 2 is imminent and throughout the following days, Valve are poised to dripfeed us details until we can take no more, only to quickly quench our thirst by releasing the update to the masses.

As with the Scout update, we’ll be feeding these details as we hear more, so watch this space & hop the jump for details…

Day 1 – The Huntsman | Day 2 – Payload Race + 2 Arena Maps | Day 3 – The Razorback | Day 4 – The Update is a SPY! | Day 5 – Meet the Spy + Achievements | Day 6 – The Abassador | Day 7 – Jarate! | Day 8 – Blood Feud in the Badlands!

Day 8 – 21/05/2009 – Blood Feud in the Badlands!

Blood Feud in the Badlands


FYI – There’s a free weekend for all 3 of you that still don’t own this game.

Day 7 – 20/05/2009 – Jarate – The Jar-based Karate

Golden Shower!

You knew it was coming…

Jarate – the Jar-based Karate*

Jarate is a thrown jar that splashes upon impact. When splashed on enemies, they take 35% more damage for a period of time. Jumping in water will wash off Jarate. Jarate is also able to short out Spies’ cloaking devices. When used on teammates, Jarate will extinguish any fire effects.

* Jarate is neither affiliated with, nor a substitute for, Karate.

Sniper Achievements also revealed.

Day 6 – 19/05/2009 – Diplomatic Immunity granted

Well, the achievement didn’t look like the regular pistol, which could only mean a real handcannon was imminent…


Put two wheels on this thing and it’s a cannon.

There are two sorts of men in this world: the sort with blood pouring out of a hole in their heads, and the sort holding the Ambassador. It has the ammo count of a revolver and the pinpoint accuracy of a sniper rifle, even at long range. (But remember, a gun that packs this much heat needs to cool off between shots, so make every shot count.)

With its rosewood grip and likeness of your enemy’s mother (please send photo) engraved on the barrel, the Ambassador is eight motherloving pounds of steel your enemies won’t want to negotiate with.

Day 5 – 18/05/2009 – Act Surprised!

No relation to the CNS List-o-tron-o-matic...  honest!

Ok, you probably saw it over the weekend, but then, who are we to question such authority?

Anyway, the long-awaited Meet The Spy video is out and it’s easily the most animated yet!  Also revealed – The Spy’s achievements.  No descriptions yet, but several of them are pretty obvious.

Find the intelligence here!

Day 4 – 15/05/2009 – The Update is a SPY!

The Spy Update

So the phantom Spy wasn’t just a ruse!

Valve hinted a while back that two classes would be updated simultaneously in order to balance out the release weeks (because 24-player games where everyone is a sniper would be pretty unworkable).  All we know at the moment is that the Spy will receive 2 different watches – one which recharges the cloak when standing still and another which auto-cloaks the user and drops a decoy when attacked, which hints that Valve are going to be rolling out the proposed equipment backpack upgrade shortly (what with there being two identical item replacements).

Fear not antipodes, the sniper update is also still on the cards!

Investigate here!

Day 3 – 14/05/2009 – The Razorback

The RazorbackThe Razorback

The Razorback is a beautiful hand-carved tribal shield, built using indigenous techniques passed from father to son since before recorded time. Sometimes the old ways really are the best ways. And after using the Razorback in the field, we quickly discovered this was not one of those times.

All the tribal craftsmanship in the world, it turns out, cannot stop a modern butter knife. So we taped a car battery to it. Sure, the added weight of the redesigned Razorback’ll slow you down a little. But any poor sap dumb enough to backstab you while you’re sporting one is getting a surprise to the tune of 10,000 volts. Plus, if they want to stab you again, they’ll have to wait until their knife cools down. Which is lucky for you, since the Razorback collapses into a million finely crafted pieces after a single stab.

It’ll slow you down and protect you for all of one backstab (and possibly other melee attacks), but nothing says ‘Don’t even think about it’ more than the possibility of being hooked up to the national grid via a butterfly knife.

Admire the craftmanship here

Day 2 – 13/05/2009 – Payload Race


Dear Mum,

Life is great as a killer assassin professional.

Been busy lately trying to destroy a pipeline.  Remember when I told you about that payload mission?  It’s like that, except both sides are trying to deliver their payloads at once.

It’s been crazy trying to push the cart into enemy territory AND stop their cart from getting into ours.  It was an uphill battle by the end – literally!  Stop pushing for a sec and it rolls back down to the bottom.  Hard work, but it keeps me busy.  Love to you and Dad

PS – Tell him I make more money than a doctor.

PPS – Actually, just tell him I AM a doctor now.

So the dual-payload map teased during the Scout Update finally surfaces.  There are also 2 new Arena maps.


Day 1 – 12/05/2009 – The Huntsman


Any experienced sniper will tell you how irritating it is when your targets keep moving around. The question is how to stop these cheaters from wind-sprinting around like they own the place. And the answer is to pin them to a wall. How? With arrows!

“Now, hold on,” you might be thinking. “I’m strong, but no one could throw an arrow that hard.” Introducing the Huntsman longbow, which solves that age-old throwing problem.

“Now, hold on,” you keep saying. “Aren’t bows and arrows primitive and harmless?” Why don’t you ask the dinosaurs? Except you can’t, because the cavemen bow and arrowed them to death. One headshot from the Huntsman can mean an instant crit, in addition to a bolt-riddled corpse hanging from a wall that’s gruesome and funny.

And even if you don’t kill them, they’ll carry around a certain arrow-shaped something as a living testament to your awesome archery skills and their frankly unawesome dodging skills. Comes with 18 arrows and a one-second charge for full power shots.

And NO, it doesn’t Stun

Have a ganders…

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About The Author
Andrew Bryant
The resident PC elitist fanatic enthusiast, Andrew’s grim outlook on the industry provides CNS with a hefty dollop of its news content. Oh, and he has managed to convince Barry to let him review stuff too! Hilarity ensues!

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